The opposite of love is not always hate. It is indifference. Many of us believe that things can be changed only if we pretend them away. But real life doesn’t give us such easy options.
Big terms like socialism and patriarchy affect many people among us. But very few of us understand how ingrained it is in us. Especially patriarchy; the much misunderstood and misused concept. I have often thought during my interaction with my male colleagues in the software industry as to why they feel that feminists are all melodramatic and create scenes for nothing. Most of these men feel that discrimination in any form doesn’t exist at least in their organization against women. And that most of these so called feminists are at the most confused attention seeking fools. They are considered as overbearing, unattractive and headstrong women who cannot learn to work in teams and are all set to topple the status quo.
Is this all that we have come to? Feminism as such is very strong concept; out there to topple years and years of socialization. What it primarily preaches; having equality in personal space and relationships- are very difficult to maintain for women who are its strongest proponents. When I look around myself, all the women who preach feminism don’t practice it in their personal lives. They have generally succumbed to social pressures. And patriarchy is such a difficult system to overcome that we women- married or single- hit a wall and inadvertently follow the norms of society. We are not ready or not bothered to follow upon what we read in feminism.
For the young IT crowd, where everything is so structured and comprises of the young and hip, feminism as a concept is very alien. For them it is something that is debated in TV Chat shows by professors or senior journalists and social workers. They feel that it doesn’t have anything to do with their lives. And many times it is this missing in action and essence that is the reason for the convoluted approach to it. If we look at it from another angle- that of men-we also realize that patriarchy doesn’t let men get out of its clutch without social ridicule. I mean how many men would dare to leave their jobs to pursue their hobby and allow their women to become the breadwinners of the family? It definitely is a moot point. So unless these cudgels are broken for men, women are never going to get free either.
So let us try and not be indifferent and explain away serious issues in simple terms.